Jared Broker Blog

Right before an opinion, label, or preference there is a me. A me hardware arises to run my endless thought programs. A belief makes a me.  Divisions perturb a me.  Hatreds slice a me to slivers. To judge everything needs a me separate from its surroundings. The environment divides itself?  The multiverse divides, too? Have you become an adrift particle out of the waves? "I hate I am not this.  I want to be that."  Endlessly... Fractal suffering!! The self arises only to dance in madness. When the self is released, quiet and inner peace melt "ourselves" into open, non language.  It's the only peace I've known. There is no me able to believe in nothing. It is a self believing in oblivion. Look around. Oblivion is absurd! The vacuum writhes with energy and creation. Pure potential, not pure nothing. Tao speaks of return. We return to openness with our multiverse and universe. How could we have ever been separate from these things?

As my own awakening progresses, the emptiness I have realized about "myself" is pervading my new experience more fully.  It continues to be more consistently in my awareness.  What I used to consider as the labels that comprised me are simply fading away. Before, my thoughts would be constantly recycling and renewing into new concepts of "who I am".  The great fights, thoughts, and clever tricks my identity used to play are simply wearing out, I guess.  Enough is enough as the inner silence becomes more prevalent and dominant in my constant experience. A couple years ago, I guess I just hit the point of complete exhaustion with my self torturing thoughts, doubts, and regrets.  This arose from my eight years being indoctrinated in the military and going to Iraq twice as a Hospital Corpsman.  Talk about deeply embedded thought identities! I didn't know it at the time, but looking back on early 2011 through 2012, a full awakening was really the only ...